Let’s Kick the 2021 NFL Season of Gambling off with a Little Fun
Here at Grump Headquarters, we tend to be grumpy most of the time, but every now and then we like to infuse our grumpiness with some humor. With today marking a new season of NFL football and in turn all the nervousness, nail biting and stress that comes with winning and losing wagers, let’s have a few laughs, the grumpy way.
10. Mike Singletary – I Want Winners.
I love Mike and he was a great linebaker, but for me his rant is the weakest of the 10. Sorry Mike.
9. Dennis Green – They’re What We Thought They Were.
This is certainly a classic and most people would have this in their top 3, but Grumpy here lost a lot of money on this game by continuing to pound the Cardinals ML as they built a 20-0 lead at halftime. So I’m putting Denny Green towards the back of the class, because if he had coached better maybe they would have won and maybe I wouldn’t be so grouchy.
For those who don’t remember this game, thanks to these back-to-back to back plays they lost by a point.
Fumble by Matt Leinart, recovered by Mike Brown. Returned for a 3 yard Touchdown.
Fumble by Edgerrin James, recovered by Charles Tillman. Returned for a 40 yard Touchdown.
Punt by Scott Player returned 83 yards by Devin Hester for a Touchdown.
This was an absolute and utter disaster. Especially since Green and the Cards apparently knew what the Bears were.
8. Herman Edwards – You Play to Win the Game!
Hello! Gotta love Herm. It’s no Miracle at the Meadowlands, but it’s a pretty damn good rant.
7. Mike Gundy – I’m a Man, I’m 40!
Okay, at #7 is our first NCAA entry and this one speaks for itself.
6. David Bennett – Be a Dog.
Let’s stay on the College Football Train here. I don’t know what the fuck this guy is talking about, but it’s absolutely glorious.
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5. Jerry Burns – Big win, any other questions?
This one is impressive for two reasons – how long it went on and it came after a win! You go Jerry.
4. Mike Ditka – If You Were 2-7 You’d Be in a Bad Mood Too.
Mike ends this one with a classic line about this not being very much fun, but on the contrary it’s a hoot and a half.
3. Jim Mora – Playoffs??!!
If you see that title you know the rant, you know the voice, you know the intonation. But while it’s good and at the top of most people’s lists, for me it’s definitely not Mora’s best, just the most high profile.
2. Jim Mora – We Got Our Ass Kicked and Couldn’t Do Diddly Poo.
Yes I’m Grumpy, but I absolutely adore this one. Without a doubt the best Mora rant of all time.
1. Tommy Lasorda – Kingman’s Performance & Bevacqua!
I know I know this isn’t a football rant, but I’m grumpy and I can do what I want. And who doesn’t love to hear the king of the baseball managers. So here’s a double shot.
What’s my opinion of Kingman’s performance?
Bevaqua couldn’t hit water if he fell out of a fucking boat.
While we’re at it, we would be remiss to not include two of the absolute best on air rants of all time. The first from our favorite disc jockey.
And the second from our favorite director and frozen pea spokesperson. Watch out for those gonks. Poor audio engineer.