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Here’s Hoping the Atlanta Braves Break the Hearts of Mack and his Beloved Cheating Houston Astros

Here at Grump Headquarters we can’t stand people who are either A. Total Assholes, B. Total Hypocrites or C. Total Asshole Hypocrites.

Today we have a combination of all three in Mattress Mack, the guy who makes showboat bets just to pump up his furniture stores and get people all sucked into his vortex.

Now before people get all hot and bothered that I’m going after this guy, I’m quite aware he’s a philanthropist and has done a lot for his community and so on, and that’s all very nice. I’m sure he’s a great human being, but in this case, he’s in the wrong and I must call him out for it.

Why? Quite simply he’s disrespecting the art of gambling and it increases my grump level whenever he lays one of his stupid ass wagers based on a coin flip or a hometown allegiance or because he likes the favorite in the Kentucky Derby based on no insight except the horse is the favorite.

“Mattress” does nothing for the art of gambling except to make a disgrace of it and in turn make a disgrace of himself and everyone associated with him. Watching his antics from the outside, it’s obvious this is just a man trying to stay relevant to ultimately boost sales at his furniture stores. I mean this is America, so it’s perfectly within his rights to try and promote his stores and increase sales of his furniture, but he needs to find another way to do it besides denigrating the art of gambling.

You see my feelings about wagering are akin to the feelings that Sam Kinison’s character Professor Terguson has about history in the movie Back to School. “I hold it sacred. The way the farmer looks at the Earth and he holds it sacred. The way a Christian takes the Bible, and he holds it sacred. The way a lot of people hold their marriage sacred. That how I feel about it.”

But this mattress huckster is basically a carnival barker who has no love or respect for the art of gambling and is just doing this showboat bullshit to pump up publicity for his stores, and it pisses me off.

I mean he’s even admitted it himself – “I’m just a huckster, I’m a promoter, I wake up every day with a new idea. God knows what I’m going to do next, but it’s going to be fun for the customers, that’s the whole idea.”

Sorry buddy but your whole idea is to sell more and more of your overpriced furniture and to see your name in print. And people just can’t get enough of it, which drives me absolutely insane because it just makes him want to do it more.

Worst of all, for his latest “bet” he’s gone back to the well with his hometown Houston Astros, who are the most despicable team in all of baseball. The team that cheated their way to a World Series win, the team that cheated everyone involved with Major League Baseball, the team that cheated everyone who was a fan of Major League Baseball, and worst of all anyone who has ever made a wager on Major League Baseball. Especially anyone who lost a bet on any of the games that the shady crooked ass Houston Astros cheated their way through during the 2017 & 2018 seasons.

Now after his past antics, Mack is back with the potential to score a windfall of $35.6 million in winnings if the Astros bring home the World Series title, which would be the largest payout in legal sports betting history. Mack made the bets back in June, laying at total of $3 million at 10-1 odds and $350,000 at 16-1.

Mack lost $13 million in 2019 on the World Series and my only hope is that this year’s wagers on the disgusting Houston Astros will turn out the same way Mack’s 2019 wagers went when the Astros who weren’t cheating at the time, lost in Game 7 of the World Series to the Washington Nationals.

At the time he said, “My heart is broken, because I’m an Astros [fan]. I don’t bet with my wallet, I bet with my heart and the city’s heart is broken.”

Here’s to Mattress Mack’s heart being broken again in 2021. Go Braves!